Relationship, Communication & Real Estate Coaching

The stuff I do at the gym…sheese!
by Michelle Shelton

My favorite saying is, “The way you do anything is the way you do everything.” I don’t know who said it. I think I heard it from T. Harv Eker. The thing is, from the very first time I heard it, I have contemplated it. I began to watch in my life to see if I thought it was true. Sure enough, I did see bits of truth creeping through and then one day at the gym it hit home!

My husband and I were at the gym and each of us was on an elliptical machine. We were side by side and I started to give him a little smack-talk.

“I am kicking your butt.” I taunted.

To which he replied, “I am not racing.”

“Chicken.” I said. He gave me a side-ways look.

Then it struck me! I looked over and he was on level 20 and climbing. What he was doing looked very difficult to me. It seemed to be very challenging to him too. I looked down at my own legs going 100 miles an hour. I realized my smack-talk was a sign of competition and I always do that! As I was noticing how each of us was working out on this machine these words came to my mind, “The way you do anything is the way you do everything”. Oh my gosh! This is exactly how we live our lives. I rush though everything. It is a race. Let’s get it done NOW! And the competition…well if THEY can do it, I can do it AND better! Once it gets to easy, I mix it up and add some new learning to challenge me so I don’t get bored and I start the climb again.

I began to process this thinking. I glanced over at my husband again and asked myself, what does he do in his life? Does he make things difficult? Does he push himself to the limit in his life? Does he take on HUGE challenges and sometimes suffer?  Challenges to where he can hardly BREATHE. I would have to say yes, he does.

Fast forward a couple of months. I was at the gym this morning and I was watching people work out.  I was thinking about my own workout and what I do to mix things up. I am constantly changing my workout for maximum benefits. When it starts to become easy I shift and challenge myself again. When it starts to get easy I mix it up again. Over and over I do this for what I think produces the best result. I think in all areas of my life…once I master it, it starts to become easy so I take it up a notch.

So, today I was watching other people at the gym. My husband wasn’t with me. I looked around and there was a woman who was running as fast as she can go on the treadmill. I have seen her there before. She comes in, does a few stretches, jumps on the treadmill and goes. When she is done, she heads out. I have said hello to her and I don’t think she really is aware of the other people around her. I wonder if her life is like that? I wonder if she is alone.

There was another gal that seemed as if she was strolling while she talked on her phone. She seemed very unaware of anyone else around her. She was talking very loud and didn’t seem to think about the fact that we may not care about her crappy date the night before or the fact that he was losing his hair. I wonder if she picks everyone apart or just this poor sap? She seemed a bit wrapped up in herself. A bit shallow.

One man was quite a bit overweight and he was barely moving on the treadmill while he read a book or something. I remember thinking, why bother? It didn’t seem like a book because it was loose, there were loose papers scattered about on the front of the machine and he seemed very unorganized. He was constantly shuffling through them. It seemed he kept loosing his place too. It looked like he would have to speed up to stop quite frankly. He was moving at a snails pace. I wondered if getting to the gym was a big accomplishment to him? He seemed like the slow and steady kind to me.  It didn’t seem like he was going to push himself, EVER. At least he was at the gym and on the treadmill. I see people do this. You know the type…if I show up it will look like I am involved. Like I am doing something. I wonder if he is like this at work? I would bet the answer is yes. Unorganized. Slow. Moving yet not accomplishing much. Poor results.

This may sound like judgement. I don’t think it is. When I coach people, I hear them lie to themselves and justify all the time. Their result is always in their face. They tell me they want something and often ask me why they don’t have it. After all, I am the Coach, I must have their answers, right?  I am being a little facetious here. A little.

“Hmmmm”, I say, “Perhaps you are lying when you say you want it?”

“WHAT?” Usually there is anger at that point. “How dare you call me a lier!”

I see it as stating the obvious. As a matter of fact, sometimes I think I should call myself Captain Obvious. In my head I can even hear the dun da da DAHHHHH of a superhero.  The other things is, I think it’s funny when I point out the obvious and they think it is brilliant. I even sometimes wonder if I am missing something. Maybe someone is going to pop out from behind a curtain and go “DUH” or “Smile you’re on Candid Camera.”

Okay so back to the gym.

The last person I noticed was a guy “trying” to work out. What I mean is, he had someone talking to him. He was on one of the stationary bikes and he would peddle a bit and then slow down to talk and then peddle a bit more and then slow down. It didn’t seem like he was getting much of a workout in to me. As a matter of fact, I was seeing this happening in his life. I would guess he often allows others to take his time. To interrupt what he is doing. I would further guess he puts himself last. Behind others.  After his “friend” left, his wife or partner showed up and said, “Let’s go.”

I hear him complaining as they walked out. He was complaining that he didn’t get his workout in and how he always felt like he couldn’t be “rude” to anyone. The word martyr flashed through my mind.

Posted by Gary Elkins

“We all have an obligation to ourselves and humanity and the world to take action towards peace. For some, this could mean doing major tasks that affect huge amounts of people. For others, simply changing their mind’s focus and redirecting their energy could be just as important. Just like we learned in the film, What the Bleep Do We Know!?, our focus has such a real impact in our lives. We know this and we understand it – but do we really put it into practice everyday?” – Kate Elliott

Remember who you really are
by Gary Elkins

If you are not one influencing masses of people, then change the world in which you live. You could begin by re-membering who you really are and be that with your family and friends. Then be who you really are with all those you deal with in your job, career and everyday contacts.

You have possibly heard the saying, “People cannot be other than how you see them.” This is so, for you project your experience of them in the first place. Therefore, put your attention on always seeing what you would like to see. When a clerk in a store says something or acts in a way you do not like, focus on who they really are and respond in a loving way. Notice how you feel. This is a victory. Give thanks.

In the movie, What the BLEEP Do We Know!?, the most contentious part was not the quantum physics. It was the story of the Caribbean tribe who could not see the clipper ships anchored offshore. All they could see was a disturbance on the water.

This true story is an example of what has been termed Inattentional blindness: not being able to see an attribute of a scene if you are not purposefully looking for it.

The most famous studies demonstrating inattentional blindness have been conducted by Daniel Simons of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Christopher Chabris of Harvard University. In their study, subjects are asked to watch a short video in which two groups of people wearing black and white t-shirts pass a basketball back and forth among themselves. The subjects are told to count how many times the basketball is passed between the people in the white shirts – or some such attention focusing device.

In the midst of the video clip, either a woman holding on open umbrella, or a man dressed in a gorilla suit strolls through the middle of the game and passes out of sight.

In their studies, Simons and Chabris found that, on average, 50% of the subjects didn’t see the gorilla or the woman with the umbrella. Literally didn’t see it.

“The guerrilla video makes people angry,” says Schlitz. “We don’t like to think we’re being tricked. And we especially don’t like it if we’re tricking ourselves.

I suggest that what you do, too often, is look for is a reason to be upset and therefore be “RIGHT.” This is an unconscious act, triggered by your false, ego-self. Going back to the clerk example above – even if you are in a good mood when the clerk says or acts in a way you do not like, you instantly react, based upon a previous experience. You allow your self to be sucked into the darkness.

By being aware, you can make a conscious choice to respond in a loving way. This act brings light to you, the clerk and the situation. This is a victory over your false self and one more step in you being in control of your life.

As Jack Canfield says, “Celebrate Your Victories and Give Thanks.” These are all acts of the acknowledgement of your truth. As acts of acknowledgement of your truth, they disempower your false, ego-identity.

**          **          **          **          **          **          **

I urge you to continue your awareness journey in all ways. Continue to read AH HA Search for Spiritual Meaning. Your AH HA’s will increase as you consciously move in the direction YOU choose.

AH HA is doing well and your support is appreciated. It is Available in your local bookstores and on the Internet. www.glelkins.com. AH HA is a guide for controlling your life from who you are through Conscious Choice.

LISTEN … WHO YOU ARE IS CALLING YOU!

Tell everyone to begin and/or enhance their journey by reading AH HA.

Love and Light,

Gary

If Everything Is Energy, Then Anything Is Possible

EMC2

“We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.”

“My name is Polly Daws. I have been married since April 2010 and been with the man that is my husband for five years. When we decided to come to this workshop we had no idea what to expect. During the Couples Workshop I found out that my relationship is all about choice and understanding the other person. This workshop has opened my eyes to a new relationship no only with my family but with the people I works on a daily basis. I LOVE this Workshop! It has been so inspiring to find that life is about choice.” - Polly Daws, Tucson, Arizona

Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind

Honesty in Personal Growth
by Michelle Shelton

Have you ever seen someone behave a certain way over and over? Perhaps it is even you and you simply don’t want to admit it.

Parents often scold their children for doing the very thing they, themselves do all the time. The child doesn’t do their homework and then they tell the teacher the dog ate it. When you ask them why they lied, they look at you with all their innocence and say, “well, you lie, you told me the other day to tell the neighbor you weren’t home when he came over.” You are angry about your child not respecting you as the adult. Perhaps you scold them or punish them for pointing out your lie. After all, you are the adult and they are the child.

Unfortunately, this behavior, from you, the adult, sets the pattern for future dishonesty from your child. When they lie to you as a teenager, you simply don’t know where you went wrong. Sound familiar? Ever seen a friend or family member do this to their child?

Why is it that we can see things so clearly in others and we judge them harshly and when it comes to ourselves we make excuses, talk big, avoid, beat ourselves up, make up stories, deny or blame shift? It almost seems like we forgive ourselves quite easily, except it has been my experience that we don’t forgive. To forgive is to give as before. This isn’t 100% of course. I am not saying YOU are not the exception. I am saying that my dealings with hundreds of people over the years, it is consistent that they don’t forgive others or themselves. They tend to build anger, resentments and plot revenge. It may be clever revenge, still, it is revenge.

Are you ready to be honest? No crap. No kidding. Honesty. Normally when I ask people this they say of course. After all, they are an honest person. Then the first time I point out a behavior they display over and over, they are shocked. How dare I say that about them. It just isn’t true. Not only do they deny, sometimes they even act like they didn’t know. Hmmm.

People say they want honesty. I hear this more than anything when dealing with couples. The wife or girlfriend will say, “I just want him to be honest with me.” Sure you do. Except when you don’t. The funny thing is, you are not being honest when you say this. Amazing that you would be with someone that is less than honest. Couples behave a certain way because they train
each other to behave a certain way.

No one wants to be scolded or criticized. Especially the people in our life that we are suppose to love more than anyone else. The first time my husband said I was being too aggressive, I was shocked and amazed. First. How DARE he talk to me that
way. Second. I wasn’t being aggressive at ALL. He was WRONG.

Now we are getting somewhere. It all comes down to just a couple of things. The two needs all humans have are a need to be right and a need to to be seen as ___________. You fill in the blank. Polished, smart, funny, clever, in charge, in control, looking our best in word and in deed. It could be physical attributes such as a trim figure, plastic surgery, youth. I could also be attributes such as looking smart, funny, and being perceived as knowing all the answers. After all…we don ‘t want to look bad or wrong. So why do we want to make other people wrong? What? You mean I can’t make anyone wrong? Well, that is true and that is not true. Every single time I argue with someone, I am making them wrong.

In making my husband wrong, I don’t have to do anything to adjust and be right, I can simply make him wrong and by default, I get to be right. I don’t have to shift at all. Wow. Except this feels bad doesn’t it? It feels bad to him and it feels bad to me too.

Of course, until I was honest with myself I didn’t see this. As a matter of fact I practically shot the messenger, my husband, just because he was exactly what I said I wanted in a man…honest. Go figure. How can he be honest with me if I am not willing to be honest with myself? It doesn’t work.

We have to be honest with ourselves before we can be happy. Otherwise the ego will run the show and when the ego runs the show it certainly doesn’t want us to be happy. It wants us to be right! My question to you would be…why is it more important for me to be right than it is for me to be happy?

If you are going to be in the next Dream Relationship Workshop in Gilbert, Arizona on September 24, 25 & 26, 2010, you are going to be able to work directly with your partner about honesty. You will also be working directly with me. I will tell you how I see it. Make sure you want honesty if that is what you are asking for. I don’t want to scare you away. These workshops for couples are a lot of fun. It is also not called the work for nothing.”

See you there!
Michelle Shelton, Facilitator, The Dream Relationship Workshop
Enroll before September 10, 2010 for a 50% off discount

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Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind

Title: Dream Relationship Workshop
Location: Hyatt Place in Gilbert, Arizona
Link out: Click here
Description: Couples workshop in Gilbert, Arizona. This is for married couples, living together and engaged. If you are having challenges in your marriage or relationship or if you relationship is really good and you are happy, either way, you can take your relationship to the next level of happiness. You don’t have to end it! It can always get better too! No matter how good your relationship is….wouldn’t it be fun to take on the next 10?
Start Date: September 24, 2010
Start Time: 6:00 PM
End Date: September 26, 2010
End Time: 6:00 PM

Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind

The new movie Charlie St. Cloud is a great love story in my opinion. Paul and I went to it a couple of nights ago. He thought it was a bit hoakie, me, I love a great and tragic love story…especially if it has a happy ending.

The things I loved most about the movie Charlie Saint Cloud was how real Charlie’s brother, Sam, was to him. Sam was dead and gone and yet Charlie was able to see him. As a matter of fact, Charlie was able to see a lot of people who had died. It was no mistake that he was attracted to work in the graveyard. To think is to create.

Another thing I liked was the fact that Charlie St. Cloud was loyal and he trusted his intuition. He didn’t worry about what other people thought of him. The danger in that at times is, other people could be giving you valuable feedback. How many people told Charlie he had to let it go? From what I saw, only the girl. She was the only one brave enough to step in and show Charlie she cared.

Toward the end of the movie when Tess was missing and Charlie knew he could find her, it was cool to see him use the connection to his brother to ask for guidance. He also trusted his intuition to guide him and he didn’t take no for an answer. If you want something in your life, how many times do you stop when someone tells you it is crazy or it can’t be done? Do you ask your higher self to guide you? Do you pray? What do you do?

The next time you go to a movie, doesn’t matter if you like it or not, ask yourself what you think the lesson for you was in the movie. For me in Charlie St. Cloud, it was about me trusting my intuition and being connected with others.

Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind

Arizona Couples workshop “works”
by Michelle Shelton

Gilbert, Arizona. A typical Friday starts at 3:00 PM with couples checking into the Hyatt Place Hotel in Gilbert, Arizona. The workshop registration is between 6:00 and 6:30 that evening and the workshop starts promptly at 6:30. The first part of the workshop is a tee up for couples so they know what to expect over the course of the weekend. There are a few exercises and then this amazing weekend begins.

What makes it so great? It is different. There is respect in the room and there is honesty. So many people are dishonest with themselves and others. Honesty takes a lot of courage and honesty is where we can start to create something new.

These workshops work for couples willing to take themselves on. It is not easy work that we facilitate. It is so rewarding. You can have the dream relationship you really want….that is not just fluff. I know because my husband and I created that relationship. After 17 years of marriage we were ready to call it quits and then a friend got us into this type of work. There are many companies out there doing this type of work. Psi Seminars has been a huge support for us. We have also attended Omega Vector and been exposed to various other programs such as Les Brown. They are all amazing and do amazing work.

The work we do over the course of the weekend is intense. It is for people who really want to take a good look at their relationship and then take ownership of what they have created so far. That is when they can create something different. The first thing we all have to know before we can get where we are going is our point A.

If you are looking for more, you can have it. If your marriage is going down the tubes, you can not only save it, you can create something brand new that is outside of your widest dreams. You are the creator and with these tools you will find it can be as simple as you want it to be.

Couples that are married on the verge of divorce, break-up, living together and engaged. As long as it is an intimate relationship, you can benefit.

What are you waiting for? It is what you said you always wanted. The only way you will have it is to first believe you can…then register for the couples workshop in Gilbert, Arizona.

Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind

The July workshop is now behind us and it was truly an amazing event! So life changing for those who attended…including me! I love seeing couples take their relationship to the next phase and they walk in on Friday night a little tense and scared not knowing what to expect. Then on Sunday….WOW…the transformation is incredible!

Thank you so much to those couples that attended. I am excited to see what is next for you and your partner!

The next workshop is the end of September so register quick to reserve your spot! Don’t miss it….it is truly transformational!

Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind

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Are you “IN” Love?

I often hear couples state that they are sooooo “IN” love and they are so happy they finally found the ONE and fell in love. I know if I can fall into something, it certainly sounds like I could fall out.

It is my thinking that love is not something we fall in to. Love is a choice. Our thoughts control our emotions so when someone falls in and out of love this comes from a lack of self-control in their thinking. It is an immaturity of thought. Love is a choice. Period. The feeling of love that many people are talking about falling in to begins with a thought. Maybe they are thinking about what it would be like to be close to that person. Maybe they envision a physical relationship or maybe they are attracted to the person’s demeanor, smile, smell, who knows? No matter, as either way the initial attraction starts with a thought and therefore love is a choice.

This isn’t something many people want to hear. They change their mind and they don’t feel the love anymore because they are not in control of their thoughts…except they are. What did I just say? The thing is, many folks don’t understand that they control their thoughts and by doing so, they control their experience. Ever heard of first thought, second thought? The first thought is hardwired into us based on how our thinking was formed. The second thought is a choice. If I think, I feel hurt. I can quickly change it to another thought. I can look at the hurt and realize that this hurt is coming from me. No one can hurt me without my permission. I just don’t give it as often now as I used to. When I don’t react, the funny thing is, the person that was doing the potential hurting tends to do something different based on their intention in the first place. Some people have a goal to hurt others typically because they are so hurt themselves, they have become addicted to the process.

I have a responsibility to teach others how I want to be treated. If I want people to be loving to me…guess what I have to be…yup….loving. Sometimes loving means setting boundaries and letting others know what is and isn’t acceptable to me.

People get addicted to thoughts. Like anything, the more you think the thought, the easier it is to have it. The thought evokes a feeling and we start to crave the feeling so we continue to repeat the thought and the cycle goes. As a matter of fact, I will go as far as to say we draw people into our lives based on how we think and what we crave mentally and emotionally. This is the premise of the law of attraction that everyone is so wild about.

This is a deep subject and it may not make sense to you in this short article. The best thing to do is to come to one of our workshops and experience this first hand for yourself. You will have an opportunity to discover your own thought patterns about yourself that may be working and the ones that may not be working and then you can choose from conscious thought.

We would love to have you!

Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind

“Working with Michelle has provided an immense boost for me, my girlfriend, and in all of my relationships. She has helped me understand that I am truly in control of my life and shared incredibly useful techniques that I use every day. A wonderful friend and incredible teacher, I am so grateful to have Michelle’s influence in my life.”
- Ian Wilson, Scottsdale, Arizona

Michelle Shelton
Facilitator, Coach, Author, Speaker
Michelle is the co-creator of the Dream Relationship Workshop.
She and her husband, Paul, have five children and live in Gilbert, Arizona.

Visit her coaching site: www.boldtalent.com
and you canalso find her on facebook at: www.facebook.com/azmastermind