Communications Coaching

There is always a stretch in personal growth work.
by Michelle Shelton, Communications Coach

There is always a stretch no matter how far you have come. Personal growth is called “work” for a reason. When you take yourself on, it can be the most rewarding thing ever….it can also be the most difficult challenge ever. I suppose it depends on how much you fight the process along the way….even while fighting, you will move forward when you are putting yourself in the position to do the work.

I see people that work and work and work and then their mind-set becomes much higher. Yay! They have arrived. Except they haven’t. There is no arriving! They are able to allow more and judge less. This is true. They are able to be more loving and connect with more people. True again. They are able to have the hard conversations that make relationships grow and thrive. Yup. They operate from a higher level. Absolutely! And then? They stop working! Why?

I have seen some people stop doing the work. They will go to a seminar and then staff and staff and staff. Some will take a job with the company and that is great, yet, how long do they stay in that job? They notice how “good” they are and they plant themselves there.  From my perspective, they may still pick up a nugget here and there, yet, are they really stretching themselves? Are they stuck in one arena? Are they seeking out other companies and other work to keep learning and growing or are they simply looking through another pair of glasses…bigger glasses grant you, yet, the same pair.  Is there a bigger element of risk or a bigger element of comfort? I call this the 51% rule. Whatever you do 51% of the time will move you forward in what you are doing. You don’t even have to do it 90% of the time….that 1% makes a huge difference.

Years ago I did a talk on the 51% to parents. Some parents want to control at an insane rate. I would teach you control 51% of the time. This gives room for growth and different perspectives. Your children will have your compass if you spend 51% of the time with them. This is called influence and NOT control. Many don’t recognize it though. When you allow others the room to grow and feed them 51% of what you want them to have, they will always come back to that 1% difference.

Why do people get stuck? Well, they stick themselves! This means they “think” they are above it all. They have mastered the art of thinking bigger than most. This is a death sentence in personal growth. What are they doing to keep moving up the mountain? Now that the view is higher than most people’s view, why are they stopping there? I think it is comfort. It is just another form of insanity.

The funny thing is, the process starts again. The very things learned at the lower levels reset. Not judging others, clear communication, listening and seeking first to understand their perspective. And caring. Caring about people. Giving more than taking, creating win / win situations and being open to feedback. The minute I plant my butt on the mountain and sit down is the minute I start to go backward. Any stopping is going backward. When I am unwilling to take the next step forward I will move backward in my growth. Everyone will. The journey never stops. There is no checking out. No chicken exit like they have at the roller coaster line where you can slip out at the last minute if you change your mind. Eventually you have to move. In the mountain scenario, you will run out of food and water. You will also see other people pass you by. That’s not fun. I have created that experience a few times in my life. I get fed up or tired or my old thoughts creep in and I throw in the towel. Then I see others passing me by. They are pleasant along the way. They offer to help. You know you can walk the path with them for a time. Yet, in the end we each have to walk our own path.

For me, the best thing that happens is when one of those passer by calls me out on my behavior. What the heck Michelle? What are you doing? Why are you stopping! You have talent, you have struggled and come this far! Get off your butt and do something already! I value this feedback. When someone sees something in me that I know is there….I just have given up. For whatever reason, it revives me. Having one person say, I believe in you an you are bigger than this! Not listening to my pathetic excuses and avoidance stories. Someone that knows what I am capable of in my life.

And so this leads to coaching. If you don’t have a coach to support you in this way…why not? Call Michelle today and get off your butt!
I promise I won’t allow you to sit on the path for very long! 480-577-8272